Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Got Lost

My routine:
Wake up in the moring, go to work, confuse what to do, a lot things to do, and then doing nothing. I don't know how to start, or how to learn.

I went to bookstore, I bought them, I read them, about this job. Then whooze! Dissapearing. 
The book had so many great idea, innovation, give me more knowledge, and guidding me (supposed to be).  
But how to implement them to my project? How's the impact of the book i've read to company, especially to myself. 
Is it usefull? or not?

On the way to city, after rain, gloomy evening.

I got lost
I lost of the meaning of why I do this? for everyday in my messy and dusty desk.
That question  often whispered in my ear by someone I don't know. 
But the answer because has no continouity.
I have no right answer except I was paid for this or I am a permanent employee.
And the other reason is I would say "this is my passion" but I have no desire to say it. Repeat, I have no desire to say it. D*mn!

I need to deeply see why the reason of doing something. Deep and deep. 
Maybe for some people is not important. But I am a feeling person. I have to have a big reason of doing something, and also the purpose.  
Well. Maybe some people say that you waste your time of thinking unimportant thing, just do it because you've paid for your job.

I am not that kind of people, I am a feeling person and it almost 100%. I need know what's the meaning of life, or whatever is it. I still looking for all the reason why I was here. Even I know, that the answer is always on behind. I mean after this is all over. Or when I passed this step or something. 

When you feel like me, don't forget to what a human have to do.
Ikhtiar. Be grateful. 

No comments:

Post a Comment